Less than a week...and the emotions are bubbling...

With one final full weekend left, Mom and I went out Saturday to see the sights (aka do errands and buy a few last things). After stopping by the Del Mar Farmer's Market and seeing a friend who runs a pastry stand there with her mom (hi S!), we headed down the 8 to go to various shops and to get a to-go pint of my very favorite potato salad from D.Z. Akin's (SD people, if you've not been, go now!).

That night, we got together with the El Cajon cousins to have one last dinner and outing prior to my departure. We had a tasty Italian dinner at an off-the-beaten-track family place, and then to continue the errands that Mom and I had been up to all day, we headed off to the ever popular, especially at 10 p.m., Wally World (aka Wal-Mart). With four adults, a 3 1/2 year old, 1 1/2 year old, and 1 month old, you can just imagine the number of carts we used and the number of shampoo bottles that were squeezed and sniffed (but not spilled, luckily). I take with me the fun memory of playing with those colorful bouncy balls in the kid's toy aisle with the two boys while their little sister snoozed on.

After we all made it out to the cars, and the boys worked off some energy, we finally strapped the kids into their car seats and it was time for me to say my goodbyes. The two younger kidlets obviously didn't really understand what I was explaining, but the oldest, who just moments before had been naughtily sticking his hands in trash cans and climbing on grocery carts, gave me my first (but probably not last) teary moment about leaving.

MH: Hey J, can I have a goodbye kiss?
J: Nooooo (flails arms)
MH: But J, I'm leaving for a long time. Remember when you went on the plane to go see Grandma? (He nods.) Well, I'm going on a trip too. I'm going to get on a big plane and fly pretty far away. I'm going to another place to teach them about us and to learn about how they do things there. So I won't see you for a long time. So we have to hug goodbye now, okay?
J: But you can't!
MH: Why?
J: Because I'll miss you too much.
MH: (starts crying and hugs him)

Although I don't see the kids everyday, I tend to see them at least every month or so, and it's hard to think that the 1 month old will be almost a year old when I return, and won't remember me.

But I cheer myself up by reminding myself why I'm going. Not only because it's an honor to be chosen, and it will look good on my resume, and I've already bought the ticket haha, not things like that, but rather because my experiences in Malta will affect not only me, but those I interact with as well. When I return, I will be able to share what I have learned with not only my academic colleagues, but my family and friends as well. I'll be able to share it with my little cousins, who have only ever known how we do things in San Diego.

The small but vibrant wild splash of adventure and adrenaline that lies carefully concealed may shock some who think that they have me figured out. It’s the one that occasionally pops out and makes me stand in front of the crowd, though that is certainly not my favorite activity. It allows my overbearing and mollycoddling personality to recede at times and lets me act like a "normal" early-twenties girl. (Though as the sign at Marshalls that I almost got read: "Normal in this house is only a setting on the washing machine!")  I’d really love to be that way all the time, but that’s just not who I am. I'm type-A, a planner, not usually one to just jet off into the unknown. But this fellowship will push my boundaries just enough to help me learn and grow, and while I'm terribly nervous, I am also incredibly excited. Hopefully my lovely exploratory streak will jolt back in just in time for takeoff.  
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